How A Bedroom Can Inspire Connection — or Not

Many in my audiences  are women who want to know how to bring warmth and romance into their lives and relationships without being overly fussy and well, feminine…The fear: masculine folk might not feel comfortable  in an overly feminine, pink or pastel room.

I always recommended that they stay away from the overly “feminine” design and colors (a lot of pink) if they want their masculine partner to feel comfortable in the room.

A shift in perspective

As I was saying this, I heard immediately  from one forty-something gentleman in the audience who stopped me mid-sentence and said, “Oh hell no! I am with myself and these guys all day, I want to experience  softness and beauty at the end of the day.”

That was a defining moment for me, and I am very grateful…but not totally wrong, because what is frilly and overt to one person, may be overwhelming and repulsive to another….too much of a good thing will work against you.

So how do we use design to create a bedroom that will do what it’s supposed to do?  Invite sleep, rest, rejuvenation, and reconnection and most of all romance and tenderness?

Design brief to begin to make the difference

Our style broadcasts our personality –but it also speaks to us, directing our behavior based on the color, items, patterns and art.

“Softness and beauty” have as many interpretations as there are people.  Adapt these ideas and you are on track:

• Use “flesh tones” to engender warmth and intimacy, pale yellow to deep cocoa, beige/tan, etc.
• Greens and blues create restfulness but also independence and coolness…not the best for cuddling.
• Grey, with undertones of warm colors can be very soft and appealing, pair it with a warm tone such as soft gold or warm browns.
• White is an activating color and not the best for sleeping.  Used as linens will feel crisp and alive, but used on walls or trim will energize a space and work against the softness.
• If you must use white, use one with a soft, warm undertone and paint the ceiling the same color as the walls.

Design:

• Reduce the number of items in the decor; fewer but well-chosen and well-placed items create calm and focus
• Avoid sharp, or sharply angled pieces, they create stress that our bodies read and respond to
• Notice the subject matter of the art and the words in the room on books or pieces
• Avoid mirrors in the bedroom as they activate a space
• Avoid extensive and competing patterns, as this sets the tone for competing partners

Soft pastel colors, with minimal contrast are about as feminine as it can be and as restful.

There are many versions of the ‘perfect’ bedroom and knowing how to eliminate decor that our bodies interpret as stressful will add years to your life and help to your keep your relationship beautiful.

Best wishes always,

PS If you want to know more tips and tricks, the background and the science behind the design for brilliant living, sign up for my newsletter, take a course or email me to find out when I’ll be speaking near you.