How Bedroom Design Can Inspire Connection — or Not

A beautiful shift in perspective

Our style broadcasts our personality –but it also speaks to us, directing our behavior based on the color, items, patterns and art. A bedroom’s design will either contribute to a nourishing sleep and supportive relationship, or can thwart it, unconsciously.

Many in my general audiences who want to know how to bring warmth and romance into their lives and relationships without being overly fussy and well, feminine…The fear: masculine folk might not feel comfortable in what is normally considered a feminine room: pink or pastel,  delicate,  or beautiful.

Not so! Here are a few tips for creating a bedroom that speaks the body’s language for better relationship and better health.

Surprisingly, during one of my speaking engagements, one forty-something architect in my audience stood up,  stopped me mid-sentence and said, “Oh hell no! I am with myself and these guys all day, I want to experience  softness and beauty at the end of the day.”  

Why? What is it about BEAUTY that we require in order to be healthy, happy and have a good night’s sleep and good relationship? Even though “beauty” means different things to different people – what the BODY sees as beauty is nearly universal.  That which is NOT stressful.  In fact, the body defines beauty as curved lines, a limited color palette – as in Nature, sensorial design aligned with the body’s purpose in that room.

Beauty is a signal to the body that you are safe and the body can out of stress mode and into where we have access to deeper sleep, better relationships and better health.

Design for the Best Unconscious Behavior in a Bedroom:

So how do we use design to create a bedroom that will do what it’s supposed to do?  Invite sleep, rest, rejuvenation, and reconnection and most of all romance and tenderness? Here are a few tips for How to Inspire deep nourishing sleep AND nourishing relationships:

Design brief to begin to make the difference: create a soft, sensuous and rich enclave. 

“Softness and beauty” have as many interpretations as there are people.  Adapt these ideas and you are on track:

• Limit the color palette, pattern and degree of contrast.
• Use “flesh tones” to engender warmth and intimacy, pale yellow to deep cocoa, beige/tan, etc.
• Greens and blues create restfulness but also independence and coolness, and found to create a perception of 3-7 degrees F cooler.  Great for sleeping, as 65 degrees F is the best room temperature for a good nights’ sleep – and possibly cuddling.
• Always test your decor colors with the ambient lighting, as colors will change when the lighting changes.
• Use warm lighting, positioned in 3-4 points around the room at a height of no more than 4 feet above the ground.
  • Best for the body:
    • Warm lighting means 2700-3000K
    • Be sure to use a frosted light bulb which does not catch the eye.
    • Light bulbs shielded from the eye are best for the body.
    • Lighting that washes the walls and ceiling.
• Avoid grey and also avoid white which is an activating color and not the best for sleeping.  Used as linens will feel crisp and alive, but used on walls or trim will energize a space and work against the softness.
  • If you must use white, use one with a soft, warm undertone and paint the ceiling the same color as the walls.

Design:

• Reduce the number of items in the decor; fewer but well-chosen and well-placed items create calm and focus
• Avoid sharp, or sharply angled pieces, they create stress that our bodies read and respond to
• Notice the subject matter of the art and the words in the room on books or pieces.  Learn to determine what the art or images are saying to your unconscious mind is imperative.
• Avoid mirrors in the bedroom, as they activate a space creating more energy than is needed for restful sleep.
• Avoid extensive and competing patterns, as this sets the tone for competing partners.

Soft pastel colors, with minimal contrast can speak your personality and be restful with just a few simple shifts.

The ‘perfect’ bedroom is the one that our bodies interpret as beautiful and will add years to your life and help to your keep your relationship beautiful.

Best wishes always,